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Ugh entitled attitudes..

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Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby micah_mae_ » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:59 pm

I don't talk about preparedness or anything but my friend has noticed that we are very health conscious and have a stockpile so she's been asking questions.
So the other day she said her husband forbade her from stockpiling. They go to the food pantry every month. When she asked what they would do if they couldn't buy food he said "we'd just go to the food pantry". So he refuses to prepare because he is fine with depending on charity. :?

Then there's people on my facebook complaining about people who have stockpiles because "they could donate it". Doesn't the government take X% of our money every month to pay for peoples food stamps and stuff? We do donate to the food pantry but not because we feel we should instead of stockpiling, just because we want to.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby catfeet » Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:03 pm

That's both an entitled attitude and an intentional ostrich move (i.e. sticking one's head in the sand.)

Plus "forbade"? Really? 'Cause I'd be all over that with a "You said _what_ word to me?!? In a partnership, that word NEVER is spoken..." attitude right back.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby micah_mae_ » Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:07 pm

catfeet wrote:That's both an entitled attitude and an intentional ostrich move (i.e. sticking one's head in the sand.)

Plus "forbade"? Really? 'Cause I'd be all over that with a "You said _what_ word to me?!? In a partnership, that word NEVER is spoken..." attitude right back.


That's what I said but I wear the pants in our marriage, lol. If my husband forbade me from doing something...it would cause problems. But she goes with whatever he says.
I guess if they ever needed something I would help her and her son but he's on his own.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby catfeet » Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:13 pm

She's putting up with it, I'd be real clear that this is HER choice to do so. That it has real world consequences and that hunger might be one of them.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby FussyOldHen » Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:07 pm

If my husband told me I couldn't do something like that (specifically and generally), I would end up having to call the police to report the dead man in my house. Once they arrived, the cops would then probably say something like, "So... what's the story about the hatchet in his forehead?" :evil: :evil: :evil:

But anytime a man FORBIDS his wife to do something that is beneficial, there always seem to be more serious underlying issues, and the two main ones are control and abuse. Some women were raised in families where that kind of thing was the norm. Too many of them rush to get pregnant and find themselves in a trap that seems difficult or impossible to get out of. But, generally speaking, there isn't much you can do. When a person is raised as a victim, it's often impossible to break them of the habits.

It's too bad that she couldn't get him to actually donate time at the food bank, and see how strained all of them are to provide more and more food for more and more poorer people, with fewer people able to contribute as they have in the past.

Entertaining entitlement story (true): I read about a study that did a survey of junior and senior high school students across the country. There were two questions: 1) Are you male or female? 2) How much money do you expect to be making annually by the time you're 25?

The mind-boggling, and totally unrealistic answers: The average answer from boys was they would be making about $125,000. The girls, $114,000.

FOR WHAT??? Playing video games? :eek:
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby micah_mae_ » Fri Jan 11, 2013 10:50 pm

catfeet wrote:She's putting up with it, I'd be real clear that this is HER choice to do so. That it has real world consequences and that hunger might be one of them.

I can't decide if I should even say anything, she is always the one to bring stuff up so I think she knows..her husband definitely has some control issues and I think she just assumes everything will be fine as long as he stays in control..
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby JayJay » Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:04 pm

That can't touch the attitude of one neighbor..not a close one thankfully.
The dad of 2 children, 15 and 12?? told me 3 years ago if any disruption of food/supplies happened, he would use his church food pantry--now that's fine, but his church membership totals about 40, so how good could that pantry be??
Again, that food pantry isn't intended for a SHTF moment, anyhow---and would he actually be first in line??
Both have great jobs, spend money like it was peanuts, and I said to him, You are not the solution---you are the problem--thinking like you do.
1) wonder how well that food pantry is stocked with 3 years of economic stress
2) wonder if he still feels that way about not storing food
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby JayJay » Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:06 pm

Plus "forbade"? Really? 'Cause I'd be all over that with a "You said _what_ word to me?!? In a partnership, that word NEVER is spoken..." attitude right back.catfeet


Oh, I say hell yes to your post.

When police arrived it would go like this---ma'am, why are there 6 holes in your husband's chest?? 8)
Cause, officer, when I pulled the trigger the 7th time, it just went click!! :o
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby Mollypup » Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:27 am

micah_mae_ wrote:I don't talk about preparedness or anything but my friend has noticed that we are very health conscious and have a stockpile so she's been asking questions.
So the other day she said her husband forbade her from stockpiling. They go to the food pantry every month. When she asked what they would do if they couldn't buy food he said "we'd just go to the food pantry". So he refuses to prepare because he is fine with depending on charity. :?

Then there's people on my facebook complaining about people who have stockpiles because "they could donate it". Doesn't the government take X% of our money every month to pay for peoples food stamps and stuff? We do donate to the food pantry but not because we feel we should instead of stockpiling, just because we want to.


They're lucky they can go to the food pantry every month and actually bring something home to eat. That is next to impossible here and we have Kroger's kind enough to bring in a semi truck full of food each month to supplement both the churches efforts and the country food pantry and people still go home empty handed. :blink:

Stepdaughter used to have that entitled attitude. She didn't believe me when i warned her. They blew their food stamps in under a week, she sent her husband to walk 3-4 miles to the food truck and he came home with nothing. She called me. I not only bawled her out for being so irresponsible that my grandchildren would have nothing to eat the rest of the month......but for not listening to me and the warning I gave her. I told her I wasn't a food pantry and she made more money than me on welfare. I then waited a day and showed up with exactly enough food to feed them until their card was loaded IF they were extremely careful. Sure, I could've fed them well easily enough, but that wasn't the point. I also told her not to ask me again. :cursing: That was TWO years ago. It's MUCH worse now.

I've not gotten another phone call. But at xmas I had good reason to suspect they were broke and their foodstamps gone........so I sent them home all the left overs from xmas dinner to tide them over. grrr Would not have done that except it's not the grandkids fault.

We have people going hungry here. No, it's not the ones who can qualify for welfare somehow. It's the ones who lost good jobs who had to take minimum wage jobs ( or two or three) to attempt to hold on and pay bills who make just barely enough NOT to qualify for those precious food stamps.

Food pantries across the country are about to be punched in the gut regardless of people's generosity because they're about to feel a big OUCH in the paycheck thanks to taxes and then another major OUCH due to a sharp increase in food prices. They're not going to be so generous due to it, they're going to be tightening their own belts.

Now stepdaughter is all eager to learn to cook from scratch and such to save money and stock pile food. Or so she says. I'll believe it when I see her pitching in to help with the garden, the canning and such. I don't mind teaching her, her sisters don't mind teaching her, but none of us are going to do it FOR her. She was warned 2 yrs ago repeatedly to start stockpiling food and to learn to cook from scratch. Now her food stamps are cut in half and she hasn't a prayer at the food pantry. I guess we'll see. I've heard too many excuses from her to just take her at her word. :shakeno:
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby Bubba J » Sat Jan 12, 2013 7:23 am

Wow. How are they going through the food stamps in under a week? Are they going after the name brand stuff? Or the frozen dinners? The store brands are just as good. Anyway, I understand where you're coming from. My brother never has a dime to his name even though he makes good money and his wife can't hold down a job...keeps getting fired for one reason or another. Their pantry is always bare. I seriously doubt those two will ever learn until it's too late.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby PittPrepper » Sat Jan 12, 2013 9:23 am

He needs an attitude adjustment :gunsmile:
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby Mollypup » Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:22 am

Junk food Bubba, tons of it. That and frozen prepackaged type meals because stepdaughter has zero cooking skills. Her husband believes himself to be a "chef" because he can pull a frozen entree out of the freezer and burn it on the stove after adding heaven knows what to it. LOL (he's most certainly NOT the brightest bulb in the box) While stepdaughter can burn water. :blink: Junk food (even generic) and prepackaged meals of any sort are expensive, and waaaaaay more expensive than cooking from scratch.

When they arrived here 2 yrs ago from Mo, homeless of course, my grandchildren had no clue what "normal" food was.....they didn't eat fruit, they didn't eat veggies, they couldn't identify most normal cuts of meat. Stepdaughter and son in law swore they were "picky" eaters. I cooked homemade from scratch meals my kids grew up on for them. Those grandkids couldn't get enough once I got them to taste it. If Nana makes it, they eat it pretty much regardless of what it is. :floppytongue:

I'm hoping getting those 3 grandkids to help in the garden will introduce them to the wonder of flavor that is homegrown fruit/veggies to get them eating fresh produce.

I don't look down on stepdaughter for either being poor or using food stamps. Her husband is working hard at the only job he can do (he really truly is low IQ and developmentally delayed) which is dish washing. I get tinkled though when she is so blatantly irresponsible with what little she has each month. I've watched her lose her food stamp benefits simply because she was too lazy to fill out the renewal form and send it back in......THEY SEND A SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOP for pete's sake! Her husband has to walk all over town to buy what they need, to go to work ect because she was greedy and wanted to cash a back pay check from disability (her eldest son is disabled) and wouldn't take the time to switch her drivers license back to Ohio, instead grabbed a state ID. So now if she wants a license it appears she has to go through the whole process again. Which means no car in her future as well. :cursing: We are a small town, no buses, no cabs. It's drive or walk.

It's a hundred stupid things like that that cause my grandkids to suffer unnecessarily and really ticks me off. Stepdaughter is NOT stupid. She's been spoiled by state run programs out the wazoo for so long she just thought they'd always be there when she needed them. Now she's running scared because she's discovering that many of those programs are now gone and others are either being cut or ended as well. The money is just not there.

I use food stamps too. They took so long to process the claim that I had 3 months "back pay" loaded onto the card with the first month. That was in August. Seventy five percent of that back pay is STILL sitting on my card. This is after they cut our stamps in half too btw. Grown son and I are most certainly NOT going hungry by any means. I have always had my preps, I've been living off them for more than a year literally, and they make it so I don't spend food stamps unless there is a really good stock up sale going on. They let me add to my preps while I'm living off of them. I don't buy junk food, we don't really eat it. Worst thing I do is buy soda because I use the 3 liter bottles for storage so I'm getting a double use out of it.

I offered to teach her how to link coupons to sales to stretch her funds........only to have her ask me if I was going to give her all the coupons I don't use because she couldn't afford to go buy 2 papers every sunday. :o WTH? She has more than double the income of my household for pete's sake! Not to mention she's sitting in a HUD apartment with all her utilities paid in full. I told her sorry but I use all my coupons thankyouverymuch. geez No way was I going to hand them over when she had that attitude about it.

I know that if her food stamps had no been cut and if they could grab a bag or two of food from the pantry each month I wouldn't be hearing a word about her wanting to learn new skills. Now she's forced to look at other options or starve. And like I said, I don't mind teaching her at all. I love her as much as my bio kids (she's been a part of my life for 30 yrs). But just like with my kids, I don't just hand over stuff. You want to learn, fine, I'll teach. But YOU have to do the work too in order to reap the rewards. Lazy doesn't cut it with me.

Honestly though, I'm hoping to teach the grandkids far more than her, there is better hope of it actually being learned and sticking. Sad, huh? :shakeno:
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby RLSunday » Sat Jan 12, 2013 1:32 pm

This thread really touches a nerve with me. Since going on disability I've met quite a few people living on Social Security. They’re constantly whining about not having enough food. “Well then so go to the food bank.” Well they don’t have a way to get there.” Well if you can be up and ready and over to my place when my son gets here to take me to the store I’m sure we can swing you by there, it’s right on the way.” No they don’t want to do that, nine o’clock that’s much too early for them to be getting up. “Well then I guess you’ll have to take the bus.” Nah, that’s a lot to manage on the bus. “Well I don’t know about that. There are plenty of people who do it all the time, many of them women with small children in tow even.” Oh, well I thought maybe you’d be going and while you were there you could pick me up some bread since it’s free and it’s unlimited and I know you don’t eat it. “Nope, I’m not going to the food bank. If I do go in the future, I'll go with my neighbor. That way she and I can split the cost of the gas, save her and I both a little bit of money. She gets up even earlier than my son. What’s more if she bothers herself to be kind enough to drive me there, then surely any extras I have I’m going to be giving to her. Not you. Who can't even be bothered to get up off your duff and go down there, not even when someone is being kind enough to chauffeur you there for free.” Seriously most of these people I know they’re too lazy to even bother to go to the food bank. They’d just much rather sit around and whine about being hungry till hopefully somebody feeds them or takes the bait and then out of pity winds up going down there for them! What’s more, if they didn't have pricey cell phone plans, expensive cable packages and waste their money on all kinds of junk they’d be able to spend that money on food, like I do and then not have to go to the food bank. I make less per month than any other person I know living on disability and yet I can make my social security and food last till the end of the month so why can’t they? Fact is they could, if they cared to and just prioritized a little differently.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby catfeet » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:29 pm

It's all about choices. Good and bad. Choose well and you can feed yourself and your family. Choose badly and you're all over a hot mess. Been there, done that, seen the pictures after. I'd rather choose to NOT have the Dunkin Donuts coffee every morning, not eat fast/prepackaged food for nearly every meal. We buy everything (nearly) on sale, buy liquidated food, and can my own, rather than be in that position of not living within our means. Again, a choice. I think that we're all here making that choice, whether we're on assistance or not. Some folks simply can't live within their means or balance a budget. I think that having a class, in highschool, which taught these things (budget balancing, using a checkbook, how to shop and say, how to manage a credit card account), would be HUGELY beneficial for society. They're skills that everyone needs and not all of us have.
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Re: Ugh entitled attitudes..

Postby Mollypup » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:31 pm

RLSunday wrote:This thread really touches a nerve with me. Since going on disability I've met quite a few people living on Social Security. They’re constantly whining about not having enough food. “Well then so go to the food bank.” Well they don’t have a way to get there.” Well if you can be up and ready and over to my place when my son gets here to take me to the store I’m sure we can swing you by there, it’s right on the way.” No they don’t want to do that, nine o’clock that’s much too early for them to be getting up. “Well then I guess you’ll have to take the bus.” Nah, that’s a lot to manage on the bus. “Well I don’t know about that. There are plenty of people who do it all the time, many of them women with small children in tow even.” Oh, well I thought maybe you’d be going and while you were there you could pick me up some bread since it’s free and it’s unlimited and I know you don’t eat it. “Nope, I’m not going to the food bank. If I do go in the future, I'll go with my neighbor. That way she and I can split the cost of the gas, save her and I both a little bit of money. She gets up even earlier than my son. What’s more if she bothers herself to be kind enough to drive me there, then surely any extras I have I’m going to be giving to her. Not you. Who can't even be bothered to get up off your duff and go down there, not even when someone is being kind enough to chauffeur you there for free.” Seriously most of these people I know they’re too lazy to even bother to go to the food bank. They’d just much rather sit around and whine about being hungry till hopefully somebody feeds them or takes the bait and then out of pity winds up going down there for them! What’s more, if they didn't have pricey cell phone plans, expensive cable packages and waste their money on all kinds of junk they’d be able to spend that money on food, like I do and then not have to go to the food bank. I make less per month than any other person I know living on disability and yet I can make my social security and food last till the end of the month so why can’t they? Fact is they could, if they cared to and just prioritized a little differently.


Yup. I hear ya. I didn't mention that stepdaughter was upset because I didn't drag her to the grocery with me every time I went. However I was riding with her sister because I couldn't afford my own gas to drive myself. Then she was upset sister didn't squeeze her into the car too. Now using coupon / sales you buy in bulk. You can barely fit 2 people's sale shopping in a single car, there is little or no way to fit 3 families worth of food into the same car. However I have volunteered to let her know IF I'm on that side of town so I can give her a ride to the store that is like 3 blocks from her apartment complex either direction. (she has kroger and walmart one direction and sav a lot the other direction) Especially since it's winter. I've tried twice in the last few weeks alone. Her food stamps are gone. They should be loaded now but I haven't heart a word from her, although she was supposed to tell me when it was loaded so if I was out there I could take her. ugh In just 2 yrs time they have bought my grandson who is autistic MRDD and heaven knows what else and addicted to video games (keeps him quite so they don't have to deal with him) 2 playstation 2 consoles, an X box and are discussing buying him a Wii! Holy crap! Meanwhile their youngest child shows up on xmas wearing a sweater 4 sizes too small for him. Now it is just sad when children hug clothes because they are so thrilled to get them. No clue how to budget money and no real desire to learn either. :x

I have cut back so much that I am racking my brain trying to find new ways to tighten that belt up and they're out buying video consoles like they're so much tissue paper and wonder why they can't make their money last but a day or several after they get it. Drives me crazy I swear.
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