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Resiliency and the Next Generation

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Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby Senah » Sun Oct 11, 2015 4:13 pm

I came across this article and it really resonated, and not in a good way. This new generation of college-aged students, along with kids younger than they are really are losing their ability to be self-sufficient. We are creating an environment in this country that smothers self-sufficiency and opportunities for resiliency. APN is an exception to the rule, but it is discouraging to have a government saying that everyone needs a college education and see that this is where kids that are supposedly the "best and brightest" are at.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201509/declining-student-resilience-serious-problem-colleges#_=_
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby rickdun » Sun Oct 11, 2015 4:28 pm

Alot of the blame is the parents fault, or being brought up with a single parent with that parent having to work to make ends meet, or the kids using drugs, or the kids just don't care, or something of that sort.

We had 4 kids, 3 girls and 1 boy. 3 of them went to college and the youngest girl went to the Marine Corps. Of the four kids, one was a bum, and that's the boy, took him 5 years to get a 4 year degree and he works at walmart. All were raised the same.

Some kids, and that includes my own, just don't care, are thin skined, plain lazy and just don't want to do anything for themselves.

Just my .02.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby daaswampman » Sun Oct 11, 2015 6:21 pm

I think the answer is "All of the above". Our entire society encourages everyone to feel they are entitled to everything. Just like Christians who fail to study the Bible, may think God provides for all our worldly needs. It is just not true.

We are weak because we have been given too much at nearly every step of modern life. It is nothing new, but it is getting worse. Even my generation (Boomers), thinks the government owes them the best everything from healthcare to a monthly check. Those guarantees wrecked both our families and communities. We no longer get along, because we don't have too! Nana government will keep care of me, so why do for myself or anyone else, is the new American motto!

Our government thinks we are too stupid to keep care of ourselves and for most people they are absolutely correct. The prediction of a 90% die off rate is way too conservative. Personally I doubt it would take a month to achieve that goal. Swamp
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby angie_nrs » Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:00 pm

I didn't read the article but I think I can guess what it states.

If it isn't on a smart phone, then they won't be able to do it. Yeah, I'm being a bit cynical but I'm really sick of the youngsters staring at their phone, ALL THE TIME! I just don't think this is a good trend. I tell my son, if you want to keep in touch with your 'peeps' then go do something with them. Go bowling, go skiing, go swimming, go DO something. :crazy:

There's a guy down the road who said he'd pay anyone $8 per cord to stack wood. We figure a teen could probably do 2-3 cords per hour ($16-24 CASH per hour). He can't get anyone to do it. Back in my day, I would be absolutely thrilled to get an opportunity like that. Today - no teens to be found. WTH???? I'm almost tempted to go do it myself, but I have several projects on my plate already that need to be done before winter.

College is pretty much shoved down the throats of high school kids. If they don't know what they want to do at that age (and who really does, I know I didn't) then you are supposed to go to college. Back in my day, it was OK since you could work your way though college at the time, which is pretty much unheard of now. College tuition wasn't the cost of a house back in the 80's. The problem with it today is that it is wasted money if you don't know what you want to do. The kids don't care b/c they aren't paying for it....either they are getting 'free' government paid tuition (financial aid), mom and dad are paying for it, they are getting student loans, or they've managed to get a scholarship. I'm not saying college is bad....but I don't think it's THE answer for those who don't really know what they want to do in life. Hopefully technical schools will make a comeback.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby kappydell » Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:27 pm

that is why it is so important for us experienced preppers/homesteaders/self sufficiency types to welcome and pass along the prepper mind-set to new members, who may be experiencing a can-do attitude for the first time in their lives.

The confidence to be self-reliant is critical to survival when the world is crashing down. It keeps you from panicking and doing stupid things; it enables you to slow down, assess the situation, plan your response, and THEN do something, not rush right out to DO something (like so many want) immediately, and screw everything up worse possibly fatally.

When I read that the boy scouts and girl scouts are closing many of their offices because nobody is joining up (and I consider them the earliest self-reliance schools) it is a troublesome sign. When the schools close down their classes on home economics (how to run a home and take care of yourself ) I am concerned as to who will teach the new mothers (often children themselves) how to run a home and teach their children life-skills. I can't help those things, but I CAN teach as many folks as I can through prepping. Maybe I'm just a drop in the bucket, but I'm a start....and if enough of us do it, we can re-teach ideals of resilience and self-sufficiency. Maybe then our founding fathers, pioneer ancestors, and immigrant forbears can stop spinning in their graves.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby LeeLynn » Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:55 pm

Yes the vast majority won't be worth the shoes on their feet but I have a feeling that there are a hand full who will be able to make it. My step daughter is 13, can hunt and dress out her own deer, can build her own shelters, and fix almost anything. She does however stay plug into her gadgets but she knows the basics of survival. The good thing is that once the population dwindles, game should become plentiful again. Some will make it, most won't, either because of ignorance or misfortune.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby catfeet » Sun Oct 11, 2015 8:04 pm

We attempted boy scouts last year. A parent must attend any event his/her child wishes to go to. It's frankly a bit of a pain in the butt. He could go to the meetings alone, but the parental involvement was over the top IMHO. I went to an event with him, and he went off on his own to do other stuff. Me? I spent the day alone, in the camping area or in the tent reading. It was a total bust. Now, I do understand that this is a gut reflex to the abuse that's happened in the boy scouts, but it's also a big reason that attendee numbers are declining. Not all parents can attend, or want to attend the events.

We can and do all of those things in our normal lives, my kids live with the canning, gardening, camping etc. All without the popcorn sales...
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby divers351 » Sun Oct 11, 2015 8:09 pm

I have said it before… And I will say it again… With the population of this country being so high the only chance that some of us will have is for the vast majority of of knuckleheads and people that are not prepared to die off as fast as humanly possible. Sounds horrible I understand but it is the reality of the situation we find ourselves in. I live 30 miles north of Orlando… The majority of people around me are idiots… A neighbor or two it's pretty damn good but outside of that most of them are completely useless and truly believe food comes from the grocery store. I learned early on that I need to relearn the old ways that I sort of remember my grandfather trying to teach me. My family has come along way to being a little more self-sufficient. I have passed a lot of the stuff onto my twin 10-year-old girls. However, when the crud hits the fan unless there is a quick mass die off we are all screwed.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby Mollypup » Sun Oct 11, 2015 8:17 pm

kappydell you'll be happy to know my youngest just became a scout leader and took on both brownies and girls scouts (because there were no leaders) in a combined group. Why? Because last year my granddaughter wanted to be a brownie......they left daughter hanging forever only to tell her no leaders. By then it was too late for her to step into the role. She does not require parental attendance.

We live in a society of instant gratification coupled with too darn much technology. Parents believe spoiling their children with "stuff" actually makes them good and loving parents. They also seem to believe that wrapping them in bubble wrap and keeping them rooted firmly in childhood as long as humanly possible is good for them. omg

My children certainly were not wrapped in bubble wrap, nor were they spoiled in any sense of the word.......and I somehow knew the main goal of parenting is to raise your child to be a fully capable functioning adult by the time they reached the age of 18. (you know, when they can go to war and die for their country) I was too "strict" or too "harsh", my kids would grow up to hate me.......... Hmm. My kids are fully functioning adults, thanks. Last time I checked, they don't hate me, in fact they've often thanked me for how they were raised.

In truth though, not all young people are as helpless as the article states. Not all parents fall into the trap of modern society. I see a lot of young people filter through work. Some are the average spoiled rotten kids. But more are hard working kids trying to start out much the way youngsters did a couple of generations ago. We have one young girl....in her last semester in high school.....she goes to school during the day and works as a reliever (breaks & such) for 6 hrs on our shift, any working day not in school and she's working the same hours as the rest of us. She doesn't want to go to college yet. So she's working and saving until she decides what she wants to do. Very practical girl, that one.

I do see parents here and there who are beginning to see the light as far as our tech oriented society is concerned. I see them removing phones and tablets and restricting computer access.....some removing video games as well. Why? Because they're noticing that children aren't learning how to socialize and communicate with each other. It's a new trend that I hope takes hold.

I still find it interesting how I get into some of the darndest conversations with folks at work. Just last week I was "teaching" a woman how to do chicken and noodles from scratch.....coaching really......a couple of days before I'd talked her through potato soup. I don't think she's ever honestly cooked from scratch and she's raised 2 kids! I'm not sure why but folks at work tend to gravitate to me for this stuff. lol I do like the folks I work with though, some of the most down to earth practical people you'll ever meet. You can always start up conversations on gardens and chickens and the like.....and I've noticed many young people paying attention and asking questions. Budgets are hard hit right now, they're looking for ways to make things cheaper.

I was truly amazed at one woman who is my daughter's age. I've always liked her but thought her a bit of the flaky sort. She's on her 5th child. Got to talking before work.....and she's anything BUT flaky.....she has her garden, she cans the veggies, she sews....and has so many old skills I just stared at her in amazement. She'll be making herself cloth diapers for the new baby in coming weeks out of donated clothes. Goes to show ya, I guess. lol

Overall, though, when something major happens in this country.........and it will........it's going to be a major blow to the population.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby Senah » Sun Oct 11, 2015 9:39 pm

angie_nrs wrote:I didn't read the article but I think I can guess what it states.

If it isn't on a smart phone, then they won't be able to do it. Yeah, I'm being a bit cynical but I'm really sick of the youngsters staring at their phone, ALL THE TIME! I just don't think this is a good trend. I tell my son, if you want to keep in touch with your 'peeps' then go do something with them. Go bowling, go skiing, go swimming, go DO something. :crazy:

There's a guy down the road who said he'd pay anyone $8 per cord to stack wood. We figure a teen could probably do 2-3 cords per hour ($16-24 CASH per hour). He can't get anyone to do it. Back in my day, I would be absolutely thrilled to get an opportunity like that. Today - no teens to be found. WTH???? I'm almost tempted to go do it myself, but I have several projects on my plate already that need to be done before winter.

College is pretty much shoved down the throats of high school kids. If they don't know what they want to do at that age (and who really does, I know I didn't) then you are supposed to go to college. Back in my day, it was OK since you could work your way though college at the time, which is pretty much unheard of now. College tuition wasn't the cost of a house back in the 80's. The problem with it today is that it is wasted money if you don't know what you want to do. The kids don't care b/c they aren't paying for it....either they are getting 'free' government paid tuition (financial aid), mom and dad are paying for it, they are getting student loans, or they've managed to get a scholarship. I'm not saying college is bad....but I don't think it's THE answer for those who don't really know what they want to do in life. Hopefully technical schools will make a comeback.


The article is worth a read. It is actually more about emotional resiliency, which is I think, the foundation for any type of real resiliency or self-sufficiency in life, even the skills most people on APN talk about. We speak a lot about being "bullied" these days, but I also think that people need to think about teaching their children to be strong, and believe in themselves and their own ideas about life and take it on the chin. Often by trying to get rid of all vestiges of bullying this is disappearing. Then they will have the emotional and spiritual strength to get through tough situations. I mean, in the military they basically break you - not physically, but mentally and emotionally - and then build you back up so that they know you can handle it. Kids today are missing that piece.

I had a tough emotional childhood - I was bullied far beyond what kids today call "bullying" etc. I had it hard at home with my Dad in many ways, but in other ways he really made me very tough and resilient. By the time I was a teenager living away from home, even found myself not yet 20 in a country in the middle of a volcano, coup/government collapse and civil break-down, I knew I could get through it and manage myself. That didn't come from training in that exact situation (how the heck could you plan for a situation like that?) but the years of resiliency my Dad and life put into me.

Kids today need that, not to be nurtured in a way that convinces them they are children until they are 26 years old.

At any rate, I recommend the article.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby daaswampman » Sun Oct 11, 2015 10:05 pm

Skills and knowledge are useless without the courage to use them. I think most people would die before they even try to do for themselves. I know a young guy here at work, that has never been in a fight of any type. Raised by a single mom. I can't even remember how many fights I was in when I was young. I doubt he would even try to defend himself while I would be trying to kill them.

The same goes for fixing crap. Most people don't even try to fix something and just call a repairman or buy something new out of fear of failure. I had no choice but to try and learned failure is just part of the process. With little fear of failure I have a lot of success. Fix it or rig it - whatever works! Swamp

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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby FussyOldHen » Sun Oct 11, 2015 11:26 pm

Our govt wants an ignorant population because they're easier to control and deceive. They've got it.

The schools are incapable of teaching the basics, but despite many of the kids failing, they wanted to increase their self-esteem -- which was pointless. All they did was create monsters with inflated egos and no substance. They've got it.

Many/most of the parents didn't want the kids they had, they just "happened". As for raising them, they took the path of least resistance: giving them money and "things", but nothing of themselves except DNA. But they didn't want the kids to make them look bad, so they insisted on making puppets of them. If their kids weren't allowed to make mistakes, they thought it made them look like good parents. The fact that they didn't let the kids do any of their own thinking has boomeranged, and now they say their kids can't seem to deal with the real world. But that's what they want to teach them, and they got what they wanted. Now they're too "delicate" to deal with the real world.

Most parents are so stupid that they don't know about their kids being contacted by child molesters and killers, because they're in their own rooms with the doors closed, on their computers. HEY, PEANUT BRAIN: Put their computer in the main room where you can keep an eye on what they're doing. Kids are safer with a phone these days, but they don't need one with internet access and videos. Oh, they're sexting? Imagine that! You could have prevented it, Mommy, but you didn't want to "deprive" them of toys like their friends have. Oh, your 14-yo is pregnant? *tsk, tsk* These parents are simply STUPID, and have always BEEN stupid.

The other big problem is that of Cause-and-Effect". Did schools ever teach that? I don't recall anything like that, myself. I got it from my mother (along with reading): "If you do X, then Y will happen". But there are people as old (even older!) than me that haven't figured that out, and many, many more younger ones to whom it is a totally foreign concept, reinforced by their upbringing.

But it's been very, very handy for our Controllers. We give our votes and our money to the best-looking, best-dressed, best haircut, best con job. They told us that we didn't have to think, so we don't. Like toddlers, we get our toys (vehicles, TVs, electronics, etc), and don't think about anything beyond them, or outside the playpen we put ourselves in. We think that what we want will happen, and don't see the machinations all around us.

And then it crashes all around us, and we stare, wide-eyed, asking "What happened?"

And don't hope for a fast die-off -- try thinking THAT through: rotting bodies all around. If it happens more slowly, at least some of the live ones will bury the dead ones.

Again: "Be careful what you wish for..."
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby Mollypup » Mon Oct 12, 2015 12:39 am

FussyOldHen wrote:Our govt wants an ignorant population because they're easier to control and deceive. They've got it.

The schools are incapable of teaching the basics, but despite many of the kids failing, they wanted to increase their self-esteem -- which was pointless. All they did was create monsters with inflated egos and no substance. They've got it.

Many/most of the parents didn't want the kids they had, they just "happened". As for raising them, they took the path of least resistance: giving them money and "things", but nothing of themselves except DNA. But they didn't want the kids to make them look bad, so they insisted on making puppets of them. If their kids weren't allowed to make mistakes, they thought it made them look like good parents. The fact that they didn't let the kids do any of their own thinking has boomeranged, and now they say their kids can't seem to deal with the real world. But that's what they want to teach them, and they got what they wanted. Now they're too "delicate" to deal with the real world.

Most parents are so stupid that they don't know about their kids being contacted by child molesters and killers, because they're in their own rooms with the doors closed, on their computers. HEY, PEANUT BRAIN: Put their computer in the main room where you can keep an eye on what they're doing. Kids are safer with a phone these days, but they don't need one with internet access and videos. Oh, they're sexting? Imagine that! You could have prevented it, Mommy, but you didn't want to "deprive" them of toys like their friends have. Oh, your 14-yo is pregnant? *tsk, tsk* These parents are simply STUPID, and have always BEEN stupid.

The other big problem is that of Cause-and-Effect". Did schools ever teach that? I don't recall anything like that, myself. I got it from my mother (along with reading): "If you do X, then Y will happen". But there are people as old (even older!) than me that haven't figured that out, and many, many more younger ones to whom it is a totally foreign concept, reinforced by their upbringing.

But it's been very, very handy for our Controllers. We give our votes and our money to the best-looking, best-dressed, best haircut, best con job. They told us that we didn't have to think, so we don't. Like toddlers, we get our toys (vehicles, TVs, electronics, etc), and don't think about anything beyond them, or outside the playpen we put ourselves in. We think that what we want will happen, and don't see the machinations all around us.

And then it crashes all around us, and we stare, wide-eyed, asking "What happened?"

And don't hope for a fast die-off -- try thinking THAT through: rotting bodies all around. If it happens more slowly, at least some of the live ones will bury the dead ones.

Again: "Be careful what you wish for..."


Fussy, not all teen pregnancies are the result of bad parenting or lazy parenting. I'll give it to you that a great deal are caused by both to some degree, but most certainly not all. And it's just not that your kid made a major mistake and got pregnant so young, it's what their parent let's that life lesson teach them once it happens as well. Teens of really good "on it" parents make bad choices too.

Youngest daughter was supervised as was not even allowed formal dating at 14-15. House rule was 16. Until that age there had to be parents to supervise. Period. No exceptions. Mom checked & double checked, she didn't just threaten to check. I stated before that I'm not a bubble wrap parent either. Over protecting a child does them only harm in the long run. Real life is a harsh teacher. I armed both my girls with all the practical knowledge I could give them, including offering birth control. It was a topic easily discussed, no taboos, no embarrassment. The dating rule was because I like to see a girl reach a certain maturity before being alone with a hormone raging teen boy. (she's got enough to handle trying to figure out her own hormones) Boy's parents were fine upstanding people, "good" parents. They were always home if youngest and the boy were there. Just as her parents were here when they were here. I was super strict because this "boy" was 18.

There are degrees of "good" parents and well, not everyone is as comfortable about the topic of sex. Sooooo as the boyfriend and daughter got down to it and got caught (of course, the parents were there) the parent just turned around and walked out of the room and said nothing. Not to them. Not to me. I discovered this when I suspected my 15 yr old was pregnant and waiting for her to tell me. Eventually since she was in major denial I had to confront and test her. When I inform the "good" parents, you'd have thought the world ended as far as the boy's mother was concerned and that she was the mother of the daughter.......hysterical pretty much sums it up. omg

Life altering, yes. Youngest soon realized her childhood was coming to a quick end. She learned to make doc appointments, welfare appointments, wic appointments. She got to go to school with morning sickness ect. School has a weird policy that pregnant students can't attend after the 6-7th month, put her smack in the middle of the year. We switched to public home school and she continued her education. The boyfriend worked and went to college. He purchased over those months everything the baby needed as well as youngest maternity clothing. Once the baby was born, it was all on them. They were the parents. I kept an eye on them, but they did it all with little to no input from me......diapering, middle of the night feeding, bathing.....soothing a screaming baby. Youngest got to experience the hell of postpartum depression to the extent of needing to be admitted to hospital to get her stable. That was the ONLY time I stepped in and cared for the baby. Boyfriend and her entire immediate family showed up everyday to give her support in her care...with the baby in tow. Youngest came home and back to lessons & child care 24/7. Boyfriend continued to work 2 jobs and go to school fulltime AND came over on his free time to help care for his baby. Family gave them support & guidance, parents did NOT rush in and take over or rescue. It was hard for them both. Those were some rocky & bad times intermingled with some good times. Daughter graduated on time on the honor roll. Boyfriend graduated not too long after with his degree. This is my down to earth daughter. Practical as they come. Devoted mother and a damn good one at that. That grandchild is now 9 years old, she has a 4 yr old brother and a baby sister on the way. Youngest married the boyfriend right before their 2nd child was born. Those two together can weather anything life has to throw at them. They grew up hard and fast. They have a comfortable life now and are by all accounts are "successful". (this is my prepper who is not a prepper lol )

Had I stepped in and interfered?? It easily could've gone the way of so many other teen parents. I actually had parents and medical staff ask me if I was going to throw my daughter out of the house, force her to get married............ They told my daughter she'd not be able to finish school, for pete's sake! In my opinion, teen pregnancy is yet another way parents tend to bubble wrap their kids from real life and the natural consequences to choices we make everyday both good and bad. In truth teen females have been giving birth forever. it's just in very recent history society suddenly assumes they are incapable of managing parenthood. Granted, most likely because we treat our teens today like overgrown little kids, but still. It's not the "best" situation, but it's certainly doable.
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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby AuntBee » Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:01 am

Well, I don't know about that, Fussy. I agree with most of your post except the part about counting on the survivors to bury their dead before they die off themselves. They'll be waiting for someone else to come along and take care of it. I want a survey that asks people if they own a dirt shovel.

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Re: Resiliency and the Next Generation

Postby AuntBee » Mon Oct 12, 2015 1:11 am

Senah, thank you for posting a link to that article! I am sending it to a couple of friends who are creating nightmare children. These are intelligent women, but they seem powerless when dealing with their kids. It's almosr frightening. I don't think an article will change their actions, but ya gotta try.

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